These Extravagant Celebrity Proposals Top Anything In Your Social Media Feed

It’s engagement season, which for us normals means a slew of high school classmates will be posting “I said yes!” diamond ring shots for a month. But if you’re a celebrity armed with the wealth to make your first, second, or third wife really swoon, proposals have to be extravagant as hell.  In fact, celebrities set the stage for how elaborate these proposals can actually get. 

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West made it so you can’t have a proposal without sharing it with the entire world andrenting a stadium. From the expensive to the romantic, here are some of the most elaborate celebrity proposal stories to top whatever you’ll see during engagement season.

…or not. It’s 2018, which means you can’t ask anyone to marry you without the help of a flash mob, apparently.

1. Russell Brand and Katy Perry

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

The Russell Brand-Katy Perry union packed so much wackiness in such a short span of time, and a fun blip on the wackometer involved Russell’s New Year’s Eve proposal. Apparently the comedian flew out Katy on a surprise trip to Jaipur, India. According to an US Weekly source, Katy low-key mentioned how much she loved Indian culture when they were eating curry in England, and the trip was a Christmas present. You know, NBD.

The proposal itself happened at the five-star Taj Rambagh Palace hotel, where the stayed in the presidential suite. “We set a table in a garden with candles everywhere,” a hotel worker told Sun. “They arrived in a horse and carriage with a glass of champagne and we served them dinner.” After dinner, Russell arranged for fireworks to ring in 2010 while the pair sat on an elephant.  Wait, what?

That sounds so  dangerous — how would the elephant not be spooked out by that? That could’ve backfired completely. In any case, it’s a pretty intense move to fly someone to India just because they enjoy curry. My boyfriend’s never flown me to China because of my love of pork buns.

I am comforted by the fact that Russell and Katy got divorced.

2. Seal and Heidi Klum

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

Oh, Seal, Heidi Klum’s Halloween parties haven’t been the same without you. Back in happier times (2004, to be exact), Seal made a proposal that was both iconic and arctic. Seal basically served his meal and champagne on ice.

“[Seal] took me by helicopter,” Heidi told Marie Claire. “He had an igloo built there, and they’d brought up everything: a bed with sheets inside the igloo, rose petals everywhere, candles. Very, very romantic!”

3. Eva Longoria and Jose Antonio Baston

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

Eva Longoria got engaged to her businessman beau Jose Antonio Baston in the polar opposite of what Seal and Heidi did. I’m getting sick of all these puns, are you sick of all these puns? Anyway, he proposed in the middle of the desert in Dubai, with a post-engagement celebration with 20 friends at Sass Cafe Dubai.

One conventional aspect of the proposal? The gloss of Ed Sheeran that accompanies their proposal video.

“I’m obsessed with Ed Sheeran right now,” the actress shared in 2017. “I mean, who isn’t? I’m OBSESSED, like when my husband proposed to me, he filmed it and that video is set to the Ed Sheeran song ‘Thinking Out Loud.’”

OK, well, you and every other bride on How He Asked, Eva. Props for the desert thing, though. You don’t see that every day.

4. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

In a twist shocking to no one, Nick Cannon proposed to Mariah Carey twice, which I guess brings her grand total of proposals to four. The first time he hid her 17-carat rock in a candy Ring Pop wrapper — which, much like a combo of fireworks and elephants, sounds dangerous. Nick said it went well, though.

“When I first proposed to my wife, I did it with real Ring Pops,” Cannon says. “I had a Ring Pop wrapper and opened it and was like, ‘Look, baby, our favorite candy!’ She had hers and she was like, ‘Mine is broken.’ She opened it up and it was her real engagement ring. So I’m a romantic guy!”

As for round two? “He sort of kidnapped me and took me on a helicopter ride,” she told Elle Magazine. “Then he re-proposed.”

5. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

What can be said that hasn’t already been seen on an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians? OK, once more with feeling: in a televised event, Kanye West pulled out all the stops for his 2013 proposal to Kim Kardashian. He rented the San Francisco Giants’ AT&T Park and sprung to have “PLEEEASE MARRY MEEE!!!” displayed on the scoreboard. Then he had a 50-piece orchestra serenade her with Lana Del Rey’s “Young and Beautiful,” and put a 15-carat diamond engagement ring on her finger while her family (and America) watched. YES, there was champagne after.

Kimye is probably the country’s most divisive power couple, but damn, you can’t undermine that kind of extravagance.

6. Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan-Tatum

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

Before Channing Tatum proposed to Jenna Dewan-Tatum (I wonder if she’s going to nix the Tatum soon — stoked to find out), he tried to throw her off his scent.

“When I proposed to my wife, I did something pretty cruel because I thought she was on to me,” Channing said. “I basically just told her I never wanted to get married to try to throw her off.” “I was like nah, ‘I don’t believe in the institution of marriage and I don’t think I ever want to get married, ever.’ She basically just broke down crying.”

First of all, I would’ve murdered him. Second of all, the alleged proposal makes up for the meltdown (a little): apparently he flew Jenna’s close friends out to Maui to bear witness.

7. Christina Aguilera and Jason Bratman

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

To this day, I side-eye hard about how Jordan Bratman and Christina Aguilera ended up together. But he definitely pulled out all the stops to pop the question. “He sent me on a scavenger hunt,” Christina told US Weekly. “My mom used to do scavenger hunts for me when I was a kid, so it had sentimental value. Each clue was a poem — and in the final clue he proposed!”

Five years later they were dunzo, but that is v. v. sweet.

8. Joe Manganiello and Sofía Vergara

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

Joe Manganiello and Sofía Vergara are like, an obscenely perfect match, both incredibly extra in buff and bombshell-y proportions, respectively. Yet Joe’s proposal wasn’t focused so much on bombastic gestures. Instead, he worked hard to say, “Will you marry me.” You know, in Spanish.

Yeah, Joe had to brush up HARD on his nominal high school Spanish in order to speak Sofia’s native language for the occasion. “I had a big speech in Spanish, and that’s what I was nervous about,” he shared on Live! with Kelly and Michael. “The last thing you want to do is, like, mess up the Spanish on the proposal to the Colombian woman.” What’s “awww” en español?

9. Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

So there’s this widely circulated story that Tom Brady proposed to Gisele Bündchen on a private jet, with roses, champagne, all that jazz. The roses part is true (of course it is), but Gisele spilled the real tea in her Vogue 73 questions segment. Apparently it involved a dash of gaslighting and Tom risking his health to get on bended knee.

“When he proposed to me, he made up this whole story [about] how my apartment was flooding, and I ran over to fix the situation,” Bundchen told Vogue. “When I got there, the whole apartment had candles and rose petals everywhere, and then he went down on his knees to propose, and I’m like, ‘Get up!’ Because he just had surgery and had three staph infections.”

Truly beautiful, but I can see why the jet story took flight instead.

10. Emmy Rossum and Sam Esmail

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

Emmy Rossum and her husband, director Sam Esmail, have an infatuation with reading the New York Times“Modern Love” section together, and that ended up being the catalyst for their engagement. In an interview with Vogue, Emmy revealed that one night when she was feeling ill, she skipped out on “Modern Love.” Sam was insistent so she finally agreed so long as she could read it in the bathtub.

“I began to read the article, and the story is about a director who falls in love with an actress, and I started to think: Huh, that’s strange,” Emmy said. “And then I realized that it was our love story.” Oh my God, shut up.

“At first, I freaked out because I thought perhaps he had actually put it in the paper and I hadn’t seen it, and everyone knew it but me,” the Shameless star continued. “And then I kind of scanned to the end and it said, ‘Love, your Sam.’

Sam did however have to contact a New York Times editor in order to place an exact replica of the page in that day’s addition, his column substituting the real one. Do remember that next time your S.O. forgets to pick up a $3 Hallmark card for your birthday.

11. Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

Oh, who can forget when these Newlyweds were young and in love and not… older and married to other people? Such is the way of Hollywood.

Nick Lachey’s proposal to Jessica Simpson was pretty fancy by the standards of the pre-cameraphone early aughts. People reported that Nick proposed at sunset while on a yacht floating along the Hawaiian waves. “I was wearing a huge sweatshirt that came down to my knees,” she said at the time. “If I had known he was going to propose, I would have at least dressed up cute.”

Don’t worry, 2002 Jess, you’ll get a do-over with Eric Johnson in another nine years.

12. John Stamos and Caitlin McHugh

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SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES

Ok, because I’m wrapping up and we’re all such good friends now: I really side-eye Disneyland proposals. To each their own, but for me all people involved tend to be: a) way too young to get married, or b) 33-year-old yearly-pass owners in soft Aladdin cosplay. Still, I’ll relent that John Stamos pulled off a cute Disney proposal to his wife, Caitlin McHugh.

Apparently John proposed at the park with a custom short film animated by romantic moments from Pixar and Disney films. At the end of it, Sebastian from The Little Mermaid held up a sign that said “Just ask the girl!” I mean…

Oh and this just in, because I am never wrong: Caitlin is apparently a big Disneybounder and as such, loved the gesture. “She loves Disneyland, and I thought, Okay, Disney …[at the park] I got on my knee and asked her,” Stamos told People. “I pulled the ring out. I don’t know how she did it, but she went to hug me and slipped her finger right in it. When the park closed we ran around the park in our Disney onesies.”

Well, if that’s what you want, go ahead and live happily ever after.

11 Actors Who Have Lived Double Lives on the CW Network

I’ve wasted the majority of my adult life drowning in the drama of teen soaps, and let me tell you, I’m not the only 27-year-old who wants to stay in high school forever. In fact, once you nab a role on the CW network, it seems you’re bound to stay in a teenage wasteland forever. As a habitual watcher, I’ve caught a few familiar faces that have lived a thousand lives (or OK, at least like two or three) on the channel. Below, our favorite recurring faces who are no doubt CW royals.

1. Krysten Ritter

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SOURCE: CW

Krysten Ritter cuts an unforgettable figure, even as a quick addition to an already established show. She first crashed the party as Gia Goodman in Veronica Mars and side-stepped that ill-fated bus crash in the first episode of season 2. The movie, however, was not as kind. Krysten then nabbed a last-minute recurring role in Gilmore Girls’seventh season as Rory’s Yale friend Lucy. And she was very fun as young Carol in the Lily Van der Woodsen flashback episode of Gossip Girl. If that backdoor pilot was picked up, it would’ve meant four CW shows, but alas, she only nabs three.

2. Mädchen Amick

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SOURCE: CW

Mädchen is maybe the most active actress in the room. Tasked with playing Stepford Mom/Ex-Serpent/Cult Inductee Alice Cooper on Riverdale, it’s already like she’s juggling three roles in one. And in her CW past, she did get two other major plot lines: first as Rory’s peppy, workaholic stepmom-ish Sherry on Gilmore Girls and then as Nate’s season two cougarfriend on Gossip Girl.  Honestly, I still always see her as Shelly from Twin Peaks, but secretly she’s a CW Superstar.

3. JoAnna Garcia Swisher

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SOURCE: CW

JoAnna Garcia (now tack on the Swisher) was the lead in Privileged, your typical fish-out-of-water (and in-a-rich-Florida-mansion) story. She was also still on Reba when the show was adopted on the CW, and nabbed a Gossip Girl role as one of Nate’s rotating door girlfriends.

It was Bree Buckley. You know, Bree Buckley? Third season? Her grandfather was Nate’s grandfather’s rival? She had red hair? No, the other one with red hair. Actually, honestly, it doesn’t matter.

4. Willa Holland

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SOURCE: CW

Willa Holland was Jenny Humphrey’s Myspace It Girl BFF Agnes in the second season of Gossip Girl. She had already cut her teeth as bad girl replacement Kaitlin Cooper on The OC, which was not a CW show, BUT MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN. Up until recently she played another troublemaking little sister: Thea Queen on Arrow. Add in a cameo on The Flash, and that technically brings her up to three.

5. Leighton Meester

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SOURCE: CW

Gossip Girl made Leighton Meester Queen B of CW for many, many years. Yet long before her days tossing yogurt as Blair Waldorf, Leighton played Carrie Bishop on Veronica Mars. Maybe you remember the episode, it was a weird one. Carrie claimed her teacher was sleeping with her in order to get justice for her friend who actually WAS sleeping with him, got pregnant, and got dumped. Oops, spoilers for a 15-year-old show.

Unlike Krysten, she did not reprise her role for the movie (and more spoilers: Carrie was incidentally made into the film’s murder mystery).

6. Justin Hartley

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SOURCE: CW

Believe it or not, Justin Hartley was the original Green Arrow back in the Smallville days, and even popped up in a few unexpected places. He was a patient on Hart of Dixie and a hot doctor on Emily Owens, MD. Nowadays you know him as Kevin Pearson on NBC’s This Is Us, so while he’s out of the CW mold, he definitely made the rounds before landing that big-time role.

7. Jared Padalecki

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SOURCE: CW

Yo, what an unexpected success. After playing Rory’s first and worst boyfriend on Gilmore Girls (or maybe not, I’m Team Jess as hell but they were all pretty terrible), Jared knocked out a home-run with Supernatural. It’s been on for, what, 47 seasons now? Approximately? How is that even possible? Jared definitely wins major points for CW loyalty, because most lead actors bounce three to four seasons in.

8. Chad Michael Murray

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SOURCE: CW

Speaking of Gilmore Girls (god, they love employing people), the first time we meet Chad Michael Murray it’s as the proto-Logan Tristan, Rory’s obnoxious Chilton classmate. He then did a 360, dribbling balls and spouting angst as Lucas Scott on One Tree Hill.

9. Kelly Rutherford

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SOURCE: CW

I’m pretty sure most of you know Kelly Rutherford as Lily Van der Woodsen in Gossip Girl, yet she’s picked up parts in Jane the Virgin and Dynasty. The latter was a fun revelation while my roommate was watching the show last week (“HEY, IT’S THAT LADY.”) I’m just glad she’s finding work that keeps her in couture.

10. Paul Wesley

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SOURCE: CW

Paul Wesley has been in the system way longer than anyone even realizes, like before the CW was even truly the CW. He had a massive tenure as Stefan Salvatore on Vampire Diaries and, if you want to count it, for a hot sec on the spin-off The Originals. Yet he receives bonus points for having parts on Smallville and WB’s Everwood (which unfortunately did not survive the great WB-UPN merger of 2006).

11. Kristen Bell

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SOURCE: CW

A late-in-the-game realization, but it must be said: Kristen Bell was mid-2000s CW royalty, playing the titular role in not one but two shows. Not only did she originate the role of teen super sleuth Veronica Mars, but she was the one and only source for the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite. That’s right, KRISTEN BELL was Gossip Girl, or at least the voice of Gossip Girl for many seasons. She even made a cameo with Rachel Bilson in the last episode just to remind us that she was Gossip Girl the whole time. Because trust me, I forgot for the whole SIX YEARS THAT WAS HAPPENING.

12. Phoebe Tonkin

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SOURCE: CW

Phoebe’s presence in the CW fam is near immortal. She first showed up as a spitfire witch in The Secret Circle, and transitioned to werewolf Hayley Marshall in The Vampire Diaries. And then she transitioned to a hybrid on The Originals, still as Hayley. Who can say how long The Originals is going to stay on air (it’s already lasted longer than a typical CW show), but Lord knows she has the credentials to hop onto Supernatural’s 107th season if things don’t work out.

’90 Day Fiancé’ Star Fernanda Is Now BFFs With Jonathan’s “Skeptical” Mom

Fans of 90 Day Fiancé know that mothers-in-law can make or break a relationship — especially when it comes to the couples on the TLC reality series. This season, we have mama’s boy Colt Johnson, who moved his Brazilian bride-to-be Larissa Dos Santos Lima in the home he shares with his overbearing mother, Debbie. On the other end end of the spectrum we have Fernanda Flores, whose fiancé, Jonathan Rivera, is basically estranged from his mother.

This is something that did not sit well with Fernanda, who made it very clear that she would not tie the knot without her family-in-law’s approval. It also doesn’t help that Jonathan’s mom, Ceci, is “skeptical” of his new relationship — and isn’t thrilled her 32 -year-old son is marrying a 19-year-old girl he met while on vacation in Mexico, who just happens to be younger than his “baby sister.”

On a recent episode, Fernanda finally met her future mother-in-law for the first time and it was awkward, to say the least. It was so bad, Ceci wouldn’t even take her future daughter-in-law wedding dress shopping, leaving Fernanda feeling disappointed and ready to go back to her native country. So, are the two women still feuding today? WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

Luckily, it looks like Fernanda and Ceci are in a much better place, and Fernanda even defended her MIL on social media. “Thank you all for being supportive after today’s episode,” Fernanda wrote on Instagram. “I know you guys feel bad for me but [there] is nothing to feel bad for. Ceci did what any mom would do. She worries about her son’s decisions.”

She continued, “Unfortunately, Jonathan after being alone and away from home for many years he lost the communication. It is something that he is working on. It was hard in the beginning, but once that she knew and I showed her that the only thing that I want is to help Jonathan reconnect with his family and be a good wife for him and grow together, she felt relieved and she [has] been really sweet and nice with me. I love her so much for giving birth and raising the awesome man that I have. She is a mama and I love feel[ing] that she is [my] mother-in law and I’m part of her family.”

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

And it looks like the feelings are mutual. Ceci also gushed about Fernanda on her personal Facebook page, seemingly revealing that the couple officially got married in a now deleted post that even included photos of the courthouse wedding. “May God bless you two, guide you through your marriage with love, patience, compassion, and honor for one another,” the proud mom wrote. “Can’t wait for next year for the wedding fiesta celebration in Mexico! Congratulations!! I love you both!”

We wouldn’t be surprised if their wedding did take place, seeing as Fernanda’s K-1 visa would have definitely expired by now. Plus, Fernanda can’t stop gushing about Jonathan on social media, recently captioning a selfie of the newlyweds(?), “No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together.”

Keep watching Fernanda and Jonathan on 90 Day Fiancé Sundays at 9 p.m. EST on TLC.

Why Is Netflix Canceling Your Fave Marvel Shows? Glad You Asked…

It’s a bad time to be a Marvel fan, especially if you’re a watcher of its Netflix TV counterparts. Lately, Netflix has been cancelling all of its Marvel shows, starting with Luke Cage and Iron Fist this past summer, and yesterday, they announced Daredevil wouldn’t return for a fourth season. Right now only two Marvel shows remain, Jessica Jonesand The Punisher, but who knows if those shows will survive Netflix’s wrath.

Needless to say, but Marvel fans are this close to storming Netflix’s corporate headquarters with pitchforks and torches. It’s rare for Netflix to cancel successful shows — in fact, they tend to have a bad habit of keeping shows long after they should’ve been canceled. So why would the streaming giant axe three of its biggest shows, collapsing the entire Marvel TV universe? Well, we have a few theories.

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SOURCE: NETFLIX/MARVEL

It’s all Disney’s fault?

Disney, which has owned Marvel since 2009, is planning to roll out its own streaming service in 2019. Once the service is up, Disney will move all its Marvel films from Netflix to its own platform. Because of this, it’s been widely speculated that Disney is intentionally killing Netflix’s Marvel shows to eliminate the competition. The canceled shows will then later relive on Disney’s own platform, making them even more insanely rich.

It’s a pretty good theory, except for one factor: Disney denied this. Despite the merger, Disney does not have the power to cancel Netflix shows. “Our Marvel series that Disney produces for us — we own those shows,” Netflix’s Chief Content Officer Ted Sarandos said. “They run until we cancel them.”

Plus, even if Disney did want to take over Netflix’s Marvel shows, there’s too much creative differences between the two studios, at least according to Rolling Stone TV critic Alan Sepinwall. “The Marvel shows for Disney are being produced by Marvel movie execs, who do not like or get along with the Marvel TV execs who made Dardevil,” he tweeted. “Technically, they COULD make a Luke Cage show a few years down the line. They just don’t want to.”

Ouch — well that doesn’t sound promising.

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SOURCE: NETFLIX/MARVEL

Netflix couldn’t afford them.

So if Disney had nothing to do with the cancellations, then why would Netflix axe the shows? Well, price might have had something to do with it. Each Marvel show cost $40 million a season to produce. In the past, Netflix has canceled other shows that were critically acclaimed but too costly to make, like The Get Down ($120 million) and Sense8 ($100 million). Considering Netflix is investing $2 billion more into original programming this year, it’s possible the streaming service wants to allocate its funds into other projects.

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SOURCE: NETFLIX/MARVEL

The shows were getting progressively worse.

And here’s the part fans don’t want to hear — most of Netflix’s Marvel shows weren’t that good. Although Season 1 of Daredevil and Jessica Jones had a positive response (along with parts of Luke Cage), Iron Fist was hated by both fans and critics, and The Defenders was called “cringeworthy” by Vulture. However, because all the shows exist in the same Marvel universe, in order to follow the story, viewers have to watch everything, which can be a chore when you’re slogging through mediocrity. Although the Marvel films are similar, it’s easier sitting through a two-hour film than a 13-hour series, as Newsweek’s Autumn Noel Kelly writes:

“Binging TV can be great, but it can be daunting too. One look at the  Netflix home screen is all the reminder one needs that there’s just too  much to watch. Back in 2015, when  Daredevil kicked things off,  Marvel wasn’t as ubiquitous and Netflix had far less original content.  Now, Netflix has six original superhero shows (and even more streaming,  such as The CW’s offerings). That’s not to mention more options across  overlapping fandoms like science fiction, anime, fantasy and  adaptations. Catching up with Luke Cage to watch The Defenders to watch Daredevil Season 3 is too much work…why not just watch Maniac instead?”

Because of this, viewership for all the Marvel shows dropped, with Daredevil, arguably the “best” of the Marvel shows, losing more than half of its viewers during Season 3.

“The whole deal was ill-conceived from the start,” Alan tweeted. “[Netflix was] looking to instantly manufacture a small-screen version of what had grown much more gradually on film. […] Marvel TV execs in general have come across as pretty stubborn/oblivious about the flaws of their shows.”

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SOURCE: MILLARWORLD

Netflix is clearing the way for Millarworld.

Now that Netflix has bungled its deal with Marvel (while losing fans in the process), it’s possible Netflix is shifting focus to invest in a new comic book universe. Last year, the streaming service purchased Millarworld, the publishing moniker of comic writer Mark Miller. With Netflix now planning to produce more superhero-related TV, it’s possible they got rid of their Marvel shows to avoid over-saturation of the genre. There’s also a theory that Netflix didn’t want to compete with Disney.

“As I mentioned in another thread, I suspect this has something to do with Netflix’s acquisition of Millarworld, Mark Millar’s comic company,” Reddit user Stuckinthevortex wrote. “They have a bunch of superhero properties that they want to develop, and by pulling the plug on the Marvel shows they can redirect that funding into IP which they own outright.”

Although it hasn’t been confirmed, it makes a ton of sense.

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SOURCE: TWITTER

The shows were destroyed by Thanos.

However, the most popular fan theory is that supervillain Thanos has destroyed them all. “Theory: all these Netflix Marvel cancellations are just because the Defenders all died in the snap,” a fan tweeted, referring to the ending of Avengers: Infinity War where Thanos snapped his fingers and killed half the world (possibly).

Although fans are treating this as a meme, there’s actually a small possibility Netflix is planning to use their Marvel TV characters for something else. In their official statement about Daredevil‘s cancellation, they hinted at the possibility of the character existing in the future:

“Marvel’s Daredevil will not return for a fourth season on Netflix. We are tremendously proud of the show’s last and  final season and although it’s painful for the fans, we feel it best to  close this chapter on a high note. We’re thankful to showrunner Erik  Oleson, the show’s writers, stellar crew and incredible cast including Charlie Cox as Daredevil himself, and we’re grateful to the fans who  have supported the show over the years. While the series on Netflix has  ended, the three existing seasons will remain on the service for years  to come, while the Daredevil character will live on in future projects for Marvel.”

A Complete Breakdown of Ariana Grande’s Iconic “thank u, next” Music Video Cast

We are still hyperventilating from watching Ariana Grande’s game-changing music video for thank u, next” — and we are not alone.

“The ‘thank u, next’ music video reached 1M likes in just 35 minutes. It’s the fastest video in HISTORY to do so,” one Arianator wrote before another added, “Name a more iconic video, I’ll wait.”

However, even the biggest Ariana fans are having a hard time keeping track of all the cameos in this star-studded cast who paid homage to everyone’s favorite teen movies Mean GirlsBring It On13 Going on 30, and Legally Blonde, while also reliving Ariana’s past relationships with Big Sean, Ricky Alvarez, Mac Miller, and Pete Davidson.

So, who is the guy next to Stefanie Drummond who is obsessed with Ariana snoring? And who are those girls in her Mean Girls squad? Luckily for you, we got the answers to those questions and more in our complete cast breakdown — starting with a barely recognizable and pregnant Miranda Sings:

1. Colleen Ballinger (Miranda Sings)

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Colleen (better known as YouTuber Miranda Sings) and her baby bump made the very first celebrity cameo in Ariana’s now iconic music video, telling the camera, “One time on Twitter, I heard Ariana was pregnant so I got pregnant so we could be pregnant at the same time. Turns out, it was just a rumor.”

2. Jonathan Bennett

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Jonathan aka Aaron Samuels reprised his role as the popular high school jock in Ariana’s homage to Mean Girls. “Ariana Grande told me my hair looks sexy when I push it back,” he says in the video. “She’s not wrong.”

3. Stefanie Drummond

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Yes, that is Bethany Byrd aka the “Army Pants and Flip Flops” girl IRL.

4. Troye Sivan

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

The “Dance to This” singer had the honor of being pushed into his locker by Ariana in the “Thank U, Next,” music video. He even made fun of those lesbian rumors surrounding Ariana. “I heard she’s a lesbian now and dating some chic called Aubrey,” he says.

5. Scott Nicholson

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Ariana enlisted her back-up dancer Scott for this memorable cameo, where he jokingly says, “I heard if you record her snoring and play it backwards, it sounds like Fantasia.” We wouldn’t be surprised, TBH.

6. Gabi DeMartino

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Proving that the Ariana and Gabi feud is officially dead, Ariana’s doppelgänger appeared in the video — and even made fun of their “rivalry.”

7. Liz Gilles

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Another doppelgänger in the music video is Liz Gilles, who looks exactly like Mean Girls‘ Cady Heron, aka Lindsay Lohan. Nickelodeon fans might also recognize her from Victorious, where she starred as Jade, alongside Ariana.

8. Courtney Chipolone

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Only the most die-hard Arianators will recognize the Gretchen Wieners in Ariana’s Mean Girls squad as her best friend and possible cousin IRL, Courtney Chipolone.

9. Alexa Luria

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Another best friend cameo came courtesy of Alexa Luria (the Karen Smith of the Mean Girls clique), who has been friends with Ariana since the age of 10.

10. Kris Jenner

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Recreating her iconic “You’re doing great, sweetie” meme is Kris Jenner – who honestly stole the spotlight in her reprisal of Amy Poehler’s cool mom role in Mean Girls.

11. Matt Bennett

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Another Victorious co-star joined Ariana in the “thank u, next” music video and it was Matt Bennett aka Robbie Shapiro doing the iconic toothbrushing scene from Bring It On. Cliff and Torrance 4 eva.

12. Victoria Monét

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

If Victoria Monét — the leader of the East Compton Clovers — looks familiar to you, you’re probably a dedicated Ariana Grande fan. The singer-songwriter (who has an incredibly successful career in her own right) was lucky enough to open for Ari during the “Dangerous Woman” tour. Clearly they stayed in touch!

13. Luz Remigio-Frias, Patience Aquart, and Nekai Johnson

While Ari called on plenty of her friends, on-screen companions, and the original actors to bring life to the video, she also called on some  professional dancers — including Luz, Patience, and Nekai — who filled in as one of the East Compton Clovers. It would also appear that they all have personal relationships with Ari, even touring with her.

With all the pros on their squad, we understand why the Toros had to steal their routines!

14. Tayla Parx

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Tayla Parx (who was born “Taylor Parks”) is a name you’ll want to remember: The up-and-coming singer/songwriter is only 25 and already making a big name for herself — with one of her most impressive credits being “thank u next.” She, like Ari, got her start on TV (even appearing alongside Ariana in Victorious) but songwriting continues to be her main passion. In addition to collaborating with Ari, she also has writing credits on songs for Fifth Harmony, Jennifer Lopez, and Mariah Carey — to name a few of her impressive accomplishments.

15. Jennifer Coolidge

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

Jennifer Coolidge was a staple in the rom coms of the mid-aughts, but no role was more defining for the actress (and her iconic voice) than Paulette in the Legally Blonde franchise (except maybe her unforgettable part as Stifler’s Mom).

Jen reprised her role for the video — and it’s as if not a minute has passed since the first time the actress bent and snapped her way into our hearts as Elle Woods’ manicurist and confidante.

16. Toulouse

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SOURCE: YOUTUBE

While other parts in the Legally Blonde part of the video were played by their original actors, Ariana wasn’t able to nab the OG Bruiser Woods for a pretty legit reason: The real-life iconic Chihuahua, Moonie, passed away in 2016 at age 18. He was mourned by Legally Blonde fans everywhere, and even Elle Woods herself, Reese Witherspoon, paid her respects to the late Gemini vegetarian.

Fortunately, Ari was able to nab the best possible replacement: Her own pup, Toulouse, who was clearly born to be a star! Ariana adopted the little guy back in 2013, and it’s clear that his star power is undeniable; he was previously named the Cutest Musician’s Pet at the 2018 iHeartRadio Music Awards and he even appeared in the video for “No Tears Left to Cry.”

People Can’t Stop Laughing at the Size of This Criminal’s Neck

When you were a kid, your parents and teachers probably told you, “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” And as a general rule, that’s advice to follow.

However, thanks to the distance and levels of anonymity the internet provides, people are a bit bolder about saying whatever the heck pops into their heads. Especially when it comes to roasting tough criminals.

Meth dealer Charles Dion McDowell learned that firsthand when the Escambia County Sheriff’s Department of Florida uploaded his neck-tacular mugshot online in an attempt to glean some information from the public that might lead to his arrest.

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SOURCE: ESCAMBIA COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE

People immediately noticed there was something up with Charles’ neck, however. Yes, the man looks like he’s part-shark, part-human. Now before you get to thinking maybe it was just a bad angle or a weird camera trick, take a look at his other mugshots below: Charles’ neck is actually that huge.

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SOURCE: ESCAMBIA COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE

Because this is the internet and if you give anyone an ounce of ammunition, they’re going to mercilessly roast anything that’s weird or off, and you can only imagine the jokes they unloaded on Charles.

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SOURCE: TWITTER

If you want endless entertainment, just check out some of the Facebook comments that appeared on the Escambia County Sheriff Department’s post about Charles. I mean what did you expect people to do?

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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK

When the man needs a scarf, he reaches for a pair of XXL sweatpants. He has to use an actual 42″ belt if he wants to wear a choker. He uses jump ropes as necklaces, and can only tie them around his neck with the help of a boomerang.

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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK

If you’re a fan of puns, people on Facebook came up with some absolutely choice ones. Of course, they’re all neck-related.

Although it’s pretty funny to make fun of Charles’ neck, it’s also easy to forget he’s a career criminal.

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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK

He was originally arrested for not only fleeing and evading the police, which is quite a feat with a neck that large. Then again, he probably didn’t have time to look back, so he could just focus on the road ahead.

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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK

The good news for Charles is, if they ever needed a stuntman for a Batman movie reboot and needed to use the suits from the first Batman Begins movie, he’ll be totally used to having zero mobility in his neck.

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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK

I think the best part about all of the jokes that showed up in response to Charles’ mugshot is the fact they’re so diverse. All of the jibes are coming at the girth of his neck from a different angle and it’s just an absolute pleasure to behold.

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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK

Charles isn’t the first criminal with an unconventional-looking neck to have his mugshot mercilessly roasted on the Internet. 52-year-old Robert Barteau, a convicted sex offender, was spotted within 500 feet of a children’s playground, which is a big no-no.

When the police put out the APB asking anyone if they knew of his whereabouts, few people had the information cops were looking for, but they had plenty comments to make about his abnormally shaped neck.

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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK

Barteau was eventually apprehended, and I’d like to think a lot of it had to do with the fact their post and all of the people online chiming in with roasts about his neck helped their post go viral.

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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK

They eventually deleted the original post and re-uploaded another, maybe because the comments section was getting bogged down with jokes, making it difficult for officers to see if anyone actually gave any relevant information that might get the convicted child molester off the streets.

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SOURCE: FACEBOOK
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SOURCE: FACEBOOK

I think these two cases set a clear example for law enforcement to follow if they’re planning on capturing a criminal at large. Maybe take a mugshot that exaggerates their worst features, then put them up online and let the roast patrol do their work. Now that’s some neckst-level police work in action.

23 Hilarious Thanksgiving Memes Everyone Can Relate To

It’s a new year, so that means all new Thanksgiving memes to celebrate the best holiday of the year (don’t @ me). Sure, you might not get along with your family, but there is turkey, stuffing, and more pie than you can dream of, which will make any uncomfortable dinner table conversation totally worth it. At the very least, your mouth will be full of cranberry sauce when you’re asked why you are single for the third year in a row.

Plus, if you are really in a tight spot, there are plenty of Thanksgiving jokes to lighten the mood. This Turkey Day, celebrate the right way, with a few memes to share on social media that perfectly capture the essence of Thanksgiving — before Black Friday comes along and steals the spotlight.

1. Thanksgiving clapback.

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SOURCE: TWITTER

Oh, the Thanksgiving clapback meme is back — and still providing the LOLs. We don’t recommend using any of these IRL, but they are definitely a highlight of the holiday.

2. Microwave turkey?

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SOURCE: TWITTER

Want to scare your mom? Follow the instructions on this meme and share the results on your social media. You might even go viral.

3. Insert fake smile.

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

If you’re not a doctor, lawyer, or accountant, you can relate to this meme.

4. Cousins are the best.

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

We all have that one cousin.

5. Wink, wink.

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

Speaking of cousins…

6. “Don’t ask me that again.”

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

This year, channel your inner Kevin Durant if a family member gets too personal.

7. Sugar daddies not allowed.

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

Or you can bring home a sugar daddy, and solve that “did you find someone?” problem.

8. That’s it.

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

Pass the sweet potato casserole, Aunt Karen.

9. Is it Thanksgiving yet?

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

We are counting down the days until Turkey Day.

10. Evil Kermit wins.

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

This Thanksgiving, it’s OK to be a little bit selfish with the leftovers.

11. Listen to Drake, literally.

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

There will be absolutely no Christmas music allowed at my Thanksgiving table.

12. Poor Stephanie.

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SOURCE: TWITTER

Fat-free is not a recognized Thanksgiving term.

13. A friendly reminder.

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

The Pilgrims and Native Americans weren’t really “friends.”

14. It wasn’t me.

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

On Thanksgiving, all the food is up for grabs. Sorry, mom.

15. “I’m fine!”

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

Hosting Thanksgiving is not as easy (or as fun) as it sounds.

16. Not all cousins are created equal.

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

There is a reason there’s a children’s table at Thanksgiving.

17. Who’s ready?

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SOURCE: TWITTER

Just make sure you’re not too hungover to enjoy the food — or the drama.

18. Turk the carvey!

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

We’re really good at step No. 6.

19. What’s an early dinner?

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

Eating dinner before 9 p.m. is a crime in all Hispanic households.

20. Turkey < everything.

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SOURCE: TWITTER

I want a side of turkey with my mac and cheese, stuffing, and corn bread.

21. Say, what?

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SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

Everyone needs to move out of the way.

22. Boo.

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SOURCE: TWITTER

And you thought Halloween was over.

23. And the official Thanksgiving anthem.

Thank you Pastor Shirley Caesar and DJ Suede the Remix God.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

11 Waiters Reveal the Painfully Awkward Dates They Served

Watching an awkward exchange between a couple when you know them is bad enough, but imagine having to go through it when you’re hired to wait on them. At least when you’re a friend, you can just exit the situation. When your livelihood depends on it, it’s literally your job to sit there and bask in the awkwardness.

In this recent AskReddit post, a bunch of people revealed some of the cringiest dates they witnessed while on the job.

1. “Sorry I slept with your sister, marry me?”

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SOURCE: LIONSGATE

One guy who worked at a dinner theater spot allowed someone to come up and sing a song. Typically, people will come up to perform and then, out of nowhere, get down on one knee and propose to their significant other. It’s usually a cute, applause-filled affair.

Except this one dude who got a little too tipsy and delivered a “a slurred performance… that seemed to focus on how he was sorry for cheating on this woman with her sister.” Naturally, the woman wasn’t having any of it and stormed out of the venue. The stage manager could only think to grab the mic and simply say, “Well, that’s that.”

– AgainstBelief

2. Dinner and divorce?

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SOURCE: HBO

When a couple walked into a wine bar for a nice date, the woman was blindsided by the dude serving her divorce papers. “Once appetizers came out the man thought it would be a good idea to serve his wife divorce papers. I did my best to avoid that side of the bar.”

At least the waiter thought to “bring tissues for the wife who was breaking down.” He boxed their dinner for them and the two went back home in the same car together. Ouch.

– ThereandBack22

3. “You didn’t look that fat in your pictures.”

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

Chalk this one up to a sad consequence of modern romance. A couple comes into a bar, but things don’t look right off the bat because the “guy looks annoyed, [but the] girl looks really excited.” The dude proceeds to ignore the girl the entire night and starts hitting on different women at the bar, including the bartender. When she finally calls him out for his behavior, he insists that he doesn’t want to be there and he’s not going to pay for her drinks or meal, but the worst is when “he…tells her that she didn’t look fat in her picture and he wouldn’t have asked her out if he’d known she was that big.” Ouch.

– icysunshine

4. Deaf couple arguing in sign language.

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

It’s one thing to walk in on a couple having an argument at a table, and another for it to be a really heated argument. But what about a deaf couple? This waiter saw “them signing furiously” until the woman at the table began “crying and signaling to [the waiter] for a stack of napkins.” They stayed for their meal and throughout the whole thing the woman kept crying and writing paragraphs on the napkin. “When they finally left they tipped [the waiter] pretty well.”

– midgetT-rex

5. Escape plan.

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SOURCE: SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT

This server “notice[d] a gorgeous blonde in her late 20s is sitting with a very well-manicured looking guy in his mid 40s.” The dude’s dressed to the nines and talking to this young woman, but it’s clear she isn’t into him at all. It’s only a matter of time before “she quickly picks up her phone and frantically calls someone and begs for pickup ASAP” while the banker dude’s in the bathroom.

After 15 minutes or so, a man her age comes into the bar and escorts her out, she cites some kind of family emergency. The banker hangs out for a bit, hits on a waitress, gets rejected, then pays his tab in exact change and doesn’t leave a tip.

– mesoziocera

6. Ouch.

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

A server witnessed a guy stand up in the middle of dinner at a busy restaurant and “proceeds to tell EVERYONE what a fantastic person his gf is, how much he loves her, and how lucky he is to have her in his life,” while “she is just sitting there watching him with the most boring look on her face.”

After he proposes, “she gives him the most disgusted look imaginable and says ‘THIS is the ring you expect me to say yes to? Are you retarded? Could you be any cheaper?'”

After her outburst, she storms out of the restaurant, leaving the dude on his knee on the floor in front of everyone. At least the waiter didn’t charge him for his meal.

– Penya23

7. Food fetish.

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

One waiter will never forget the first time they saw a “Really little guy, maybe 5 foot 4, 120 pounds come in with a gigantic woman, probably 6 feet tall and easily 300 pounds.” Turns out these peeps had a food fetish, and the two of them would talk to each other in deep, sexy voices the whole time as he watched her eat. The waiter added that they seemed really “happy” and had a great relationship in the three years they served them.

– significantmundanity

8. Glass fight!

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SOURCE: POLYGRAM

This was was simple drama with a pretty violent end: “There was a couple at my work having drinks, girl went to the toilet, came back and admitted that she’d been sleeping with the guy’s brother. Apparently glasses were thrown across the room and they both got kicked out.”

Thankfully, no one was seriously injured.

– Foxjessie

9. Back door escape

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SOURCE: SWAN SONG

A couple walks into a restaurant on what appears to be a first date. 30 minutes was probably all the guy needed to know that he wasn’t interested in taking things any further because “the dude comes running into the back and goes, “there’s an exit back here, right?” and proceeds to bolt out of the back door.” The girl sat at the bar for another 45 minutes before she finally left.

– HappyLittleTrees17

10. Never be this guy.

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

This little insight into a date gone wrong is a perfect example of ruining something with potential. At the start of the date, “from the girl’s body language, you could tell she was into him. As the date progressed she closed off, then sat pretty much sideways, then was playing on her phone.”

In a span of 1 1/2 hours, the dude wouldn’t stop talking and didn’t let her get a word in edgewise.

– TheStankTank

11. New Boo.

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

What happened to this waiter just seemed like a mean case of an ex trying to get back at their former SO. While he was bringing food to a couple he saw that it was his “ex and her new boyfriend sitting at the table.” Since they had only broken up a month before, “it was incredibly awkward for everyone.” Yikes.

13 Hosts Reveal the Rudest Things Guests Have Ever Done in Their Homes

I come from an old-school Eastern European family that takes the whole “you’re a guest in my house” thing very, very seriously. If you’re coming over, there’s going to be a full meal ready for you and a variety of drink options. If you need a change of clothes, it’s there for you. Wanna shower or need to take a nap or even stay the night? That’s an option, too.

Some people might think that’s overkill, but in many cultures, that kind of gung-ho attitude towards making a guest feel comfortable is a two-way street. When I’m a guest in someone else’s home, I’ll keep any requests I have to an absolute minimum and make sure to clean up after myself and be as polite as possible. It’s all about manners at the end of the day.

However, that ideal’s lost on some people for whatever reason. The contributors to this AskReddit shared some of the worst examples they’ve ever come across of the much-maligned “ungracious guest.”

1. Break the knife.

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SOURCE: PARAMOUNT PICTURES

Not only did this guy’s ex-wife’s sister break a “$150 chef’s knife” but, after messing it up, she said “it must be a cheap knife because her sister in Thailand cuts them open super easy with a cleaver.” He counts not having to deal with her again as a bright side of his divorce.

– multivac7223

2. Hair. Hair everywhere.

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SOURCE: MGM TELEVISION

This unfortunate soul let a neighbor and her two daughters use their shower after her husband had neglected to pay the water bill. When they went into the bathroom after they left they noticed the “bathtub was clogged with…hair”. A specific kind of hair that was “all over…the sides of the tub, bottom of the shower curtain, everywhere.”

Which left this bathroom Mother Theresa to think that their neighbor “decided to change her hairstyle from 1970’s Hustler to Y2K Penthouse…”

– ChrissyStepfordwife

3. Ex In-Laws

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SOURCE: UNIVERSAL PICTURES

This person’s in-laws hated them so much that when they invited them over for Thanksgiving, they seriously asked them “to leave and come back a few hours later because they wanted to ‘follow their tradition of preparing the meal alone as a family’.”

No wonder they’re ex in-laws now.

– Arboretum7

4. All over the toilet seat.

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

After inviting a bunch of kids over for a swimming party, this host kid went to the bathroom right after a young girl. What they saw on the toilet seat horrified them: “She had pooped all over the toilet seat and didn’t even try to clean it. It wasn’t just a little, it was everywhere and let me tell you that girl needed more fiber in her diet.”

Thankfully, the young girl’s mother forced her to clean it up, but still. Why would you think that’s OK in the first place?

ChristianBaal

5. Hardwood floors?

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SOURCE: FOCUS PICTURES

A guest at a house-warming party was really interested in knowing whether or not the floors were hardwood or laminate. So they decided “to test it out by taking out their key and scratching the floor. It was hardwood and it left a scratch…”

I wouldn’t be surprised if they were never invited back for another party.

– EXOQ

6. Who wants some blow?

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SOURCE: ADULT SWIM

Some random guy showed up at this person’s house party claiming to be a friend of a guest who didn’t even show up anyway. He brought a bunch of blow to the party, but no one else wanted to do any, and he ends up pulling a knife on the host’s friend. “I tell him he needs to leave, he points the knife to me, everyone surrounds him, he leaves. I don’t remember his name but he was the worst guest I’ve ever had and hopefully will ever have over.”

– cbrewdrummer

7. Free food critic.

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SOURCE: NEW LINE CINEMA

This person and their roommate decided to host weekly dinners for their friends and co-workers every Monday. Every week the same random dude showed up that the host wasn’t at all familiar with, and even though they didn’t like this random guy, they didn’t let it bother them. That was, until one night they cooked “al dente” pasta Mr. Random ended up not liking: “‘This is the most under-cooked pasta I’ve ever had, it tastes terrible, someone needs to show you how to cook pasta.'”

The host ended up canceling their weekly dinners and thought it was pretty tacky for the guy to complain about free food. “Personally I would never ever say anything bad about someone’s cooking as a guest at their house even if it was terrible.”

– coolcrowe

8. Pad flushing.

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

If you’re over somebody’s house and they ask you not to anything but toilet paper down the toilet, you should listen to them. Unfortunately, this host’s relatives did not, and it ended up destroying their “septic field” and costing them “almost $10,000 in damages overall. When confronted, they just denied it, despite the fact that the 32 pads that were pulled out of the system matches the brand that they had while they were over.”

– Flimflomzimzoom

9. Visit from Grandma.

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SOURCE: ORION PICTURES

When this person’s Grandma visited from out of state to catch her high school graduation, she ended up overstaying her welcome by two weeks and “threw a fit” whenever the newly graduated young’un slept “past 9am.” To top it all off, she told her mom that “she needed to work less so she could clean the house better.”

– PixelRapunzel

10. Room pooper.

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

Imagine you have a bunch of friends and acquaintences in your house. Then, because the bathroom is full, one of the guests decides to go and poop in your room instead of waiting for the toilet to free up. The host just thought the kid “needed to go pretty bad” and I agree with them.

– Xtrelevant

11. Get outta bed, kid.

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

When this person was a kid, they had a fever while their grandpa was visiting. After eating lunch, the poor little kid “crawled back into [their] bed,” only to be “kicked…out of [their] bed” by their Grandpa who decided he wanted to have a nap.

After the poster’s mom found him “laying on the floor next to [the] bed” they kicked Grandpa out of the house.

– lemonedpenguin

12. Narc.

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

When you invite someone into your home as a kid, there’s a certain pact, that whatever happens in the house, the parents can’t know about. But this guest violated that rule when they “looked at [OP’s] search history and saw [they] had watched” some entertainment that was unfit for children’s eyes. They then proceeded to call their mom “from downstairs to tell her about it.”

Worst. Guest. Ever.

– Sch-eh

13. Ex husband at the door.

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SOURCE: ISTOCK

This dude’s wife’s ex-husband stayed at their house for ten days, much to the excitement of his 10-year-old biological daughter. “While living with [them, he] broke a sandstone wedding present” but they “never badmouthed him, just swallowed it all, with a sanguine smile.”

They assumed he’d get a hotel, but made the whole situation awkward for everyone involved. The good news is that the guy’s daughter thanked OP at the end of the day for never talking bad about her father, she just realized how much he sucked on her own. So that’s a win.

13 Turkey Abominations You Should Stay Away From This Thanksgiving

When Thanksgiving rolls around, if you listen closely enough, you can probably hear my brain getting audibly excited because it’s about to scarf down some delicious pumpkin pie. I’m talking about those wonderful $5 Costco ones that have no business being that cheap, that large, and that delicious.

But as much as I love me multiple helpings of some PP, there’s no doubt that the star of the show is the turkey. Sure, sides are amazing, but if your bird ain’t cooked to perfection, then Thanksgiving is kind of a disaster.

There are tons of ways to cook one — personally, Alton Brown’s recipe is my favorite and never ceases to disappoint with its unparalleled juiciness.  (brine that bad boy 48 hours in advance, people.)

Then there are some people who decide to go a little too “out of the box” when crafting their Thanksgiving turkeys, and the results are just ghastly.

1. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos-breaded turkey

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SOURCE: TWITTER

Listen, I love Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and pretty much flamin’ hot anything, as evinced by the Costco-sized box of various individual packs of the chips that are currently waiting in my kitchen for my next cheat day.

But breading your turkey in this stuff is just asking for an awful Thanksgiving and if you’re crazy enough to try this recipe, then I feel bad for you and your family.

2. Turkey cake

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SOURCE: CHOWHOUND VIDEO GRAB

You almost want to applaud the folks over at Chowhound for coming up with this turkey cake. In theory, it should work, because it’s got all of the Thanksgiving flavors we love. But something about a mashed potato frosting, with layers of ground turkey, only to be topped off with sweet potatoes and marshmallows, makes me want to run to the bathroom for a holiday evacuation.

3. Powerade turkey

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SOURCE: MALE CHEF

So this was created as a gag by the brilliant mind of Male Chef and posted to their Tumblr page. Even if you throw up all over yourself as a joke, the fact is that you’re still covered in vomit. The sight of this turkey marinated in knock-off Gatorade is so blargh-inducing that it’s making me sick just looking at it.

4. Turkey Jell-O

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SOURCE: FLICKR

Who hasn’t been sitting around the Thanksgiving dinner table while shoveling bits of dry turkey into their mouths thinking there just has to be a better way of consuming bird meat so it flows more easily down your esophageal tract? We’ve all been there. I present to you this abominable solution: Turkey Jell-O. Begone Satan, begone.

5. Thanksgiving sushi

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SOURCE: LESLIELEYLANDFIELDS

Now I have a gripe with sushi on the basis that it’s cold rice and uncooked meat and other stuff all mashed together to give you a “meal,” but I promise you that my distaste for it has nothing to do with my disgust with this idea. I’m sure even the most avid sushi lovers would admit there’s a time and place for sushi and a turkified Thanksgiving version of it isn’t it.

Props to Leslie Leyland Fields for creating this unique Thanksgiving treat, but I think we’ll pass.

6. Turkey donut

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SOURCE: ZUCKER BAKERY NYC

Donuts are delicious. Turkey is yummy, too. Chopping up bits of bird and mixing it with cranberry sauce that is then shoved into a donut that is otherwise delicious, does not sound like a fun way to celebrate your Thanksgiving meal, though.

7. Turkey and gravy soda

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SOURCE: JONES SODA

It’s the Jell-O conundrum all over again. Look, certain flavors only work well with certain textures. I really like beef Wellington, but I wouldn’t want that flavor to ooze out of a Slushee machine at my local convenience store, nor would I want the savory yumminess of turkey and gravy fizzing up into my nostrils as I gag on this Jones Soda holiday “classic.”

8. Bacon Turkey.

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SOURCE: FUNNY JUNK

No, not a bacon-wrapped turkey (which already sounds gross but I do understand the appeal), but pounds of bacon just shaped to look like a turkey. I get that people are obsessed with the crispy, fatty, meat treat, but do yourself and your loved ones a favor and never put them through this shame on Thanksgiving.

9. Thanksgiving pizza

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SOURCE: MY RECIPES

Pizza is delicious. Pizza is comforting. When it comes to comfort foods, however, it doesn’t get more comforting and homey than Thanksgiving. However, combining these two things looks just plain nasty. Sure, just top a pie with white American cheese, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, gravy, shreds of turkey meat, and Brussels sprouts. It looks like someone who overate on Thanksgiving decided to order a pizza, and then proceeded to barf all over said pizza. No thanks.

10. Turkey casserole

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SOURCE: HELLMANN’S | YOUTUBE

I really feel like casserole gets a bad rap. The word “casserole” just sounds gross, and yes it’s associated with bland home cooking that we’d only eat because there’s nothing else in the fridge and we don’t have the money to eat out. But a mayonnaise-based hodge-podge of Thanksgiving staples tossed into a pan then baked in an oven sounds like a sadistic plan to insult your guests on Thanksgiving. It’ll be a meal to remember, but the memories won’t be fond.

11. Deep-fried turkey

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SOURCE: FOOD NETWORK

Look, I get that deep-frying things is sometimes great, but when you take an entire turkey and throw it into a vat of oil, you’re just asking for trouble. Sure, there are ways to cook it so it’s not a dry ball of nastiness, but at what cost?

12. Char-grilled Turkey.

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SOURCE: EMMYSUE13 | YOUTUBE

Dads love grilling all year round and will usually look for any excuse to do so. Thanksgiving shouldn’t be one of those days, and this papa shows exactly why when he attempted to cook a Thanksgiving Turkey on an outdoor grill and ended up burning the poor thing to high hell.

13. Thanksgiving burrito.

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SOURCE: TWITTER

Burritos can be great, as long as the ratios of all the ingredients on the inside are correct. But there’s something about mixing up all of the flavor profiles of Thanksgiving Turkey and all its side dishes and putting it into a flour tortilla that just seems off. Please don’t serve this on Thanksgiving and if you’re wondering what to do with your leftovers, maybe stay away from this recipe altogether.

What are some of the worst Turkey abominations you ever came across on Thanksgiving?